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cando7

i have a question...

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Junior Fellowlaborer

Posts: 40

(05/25/08 12:06:03)

Tags : None

this question was moved from the thread " a little story"....

i have a question.... i grew up being taught that it was a sin to have sexual intercourse before marriage, but then once i was older i was told that in God's eyes when a man and woman have sexual intercourse, that is the marriage act, and in God's eyes they are then married, and the marriage license is just a piece of paper for legal purposes, and that it is better to be legally married for legal and financial purposes, but even if you are not legally married, it is not a sin and in God's eyes you are married.... can anyone clarify with any scripture? i sure would appreciate it. thanks....

abbzeq

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Junior Watchman

Posts: 1860

(05/25/08 14:44:29)

Im not familiar with any scripture that says the second a man has sex with a woman they are married.

The Dark Knight

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Senior Master Sickleman

Posts: 1084

(05/25/08 15:49:31)

Let Ruth and Boaz be your example.

Ruth 3:9 - And he said, Who art thou? And she answered, I am Ruth thine handmaid: spread therefore thy skirt over thine handmaid; for thou art a near kinsman.

When a man spreads his skirt over a woman, that is a sign of marriage.

Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum.

cando7

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Junior Fellowlaborer

Posts: 41

(05/25/08 18:09:50)

i understand that the scripture says that when a man spreads his skirt (has sexual intercourse) with a woman that is the marriage act, but is it a sin to do that without being legally married? Thanks DK for the scripture, i have read it before, but could not remember where.

Katabole

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Junior Tiller

Posts: 109

(05/26/08 08:28:28)

Frankly, I think all a person needs is a verbal contract from their perspective mate that they will love them and stay with them and be faithful to them until the day they die. Look at Ezekiel chapter 16 when God marries Jerusalem:

Eze 16:8, Now when I passed by thee, and looked upon thee, behold, thy time was the time of love; and I spread my skirt over thee, and covered thy nakedness: yea, I sware unto thee, and entered into a covenant with thee, saith the Lord GOD, and thou becamest mine.

God not only spread his skirt over Jerusalem, but he swore an oath to her and entered into a covenant with her.

Strong's has something to say about sex before marriage though in the Greek word for fornication:

Matt 15:19, For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:

4202

porneia
porneia
por-ni'-ah

from porneuw - porneuo 4203; harlotry (including adultery and incest); figuratively, idolatry:--fornication.

4203

porneuw
porneuo
porn-yoo'-o

from pornh - porne 4204; to act the harlot, i.e. (literally) indulge unlawful lust (of either sex), or (figuratively) practise idolatry:--commit (fornication).

Unlawful lust, as the Strong's definition implies, means sex outside of a marriage covenant, in other words, two people who have sex without a marriage covenant or an oath given to each other and Jesus is verse 19 of Matt 15 claims it is evil. The English word pornography is derived from those Greek words "porneia and porneuo." From a Biblical perspective, a document is not necessary. I read nowhere in scripture that one was needed, other than a simple verbal oath in truth with God present in those people's hearts. However, when it comes to governmental purposes and legalities, especially where children are involved, I believe a certificate of some sort, would be necessary.

Hope that helps.

Psalm 147:5, Great is our Lord, and of great power: his understanding is infinite.

The Dark Knight

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Senior Master Sickleman

Posts: 1086

(05/26/08 09:32:10)

cando7 wrote:
i understand that the scripture says that when a man spreads his skirt (has sexual intercourse) with a woman that is the marriage act, but is it a sin to do that without being legally married? Thanks DK for the scripture, i have read it before, but could not remember where.

Were Adam and Eve married ? Did they have a big wedding and a feast down at the local church ? Did they have legal documentation to be husband and wife ?

When Boaz took Ruth, did they have a big wedding before sleeping together, or did they sign legal papers to confirm their marriage before intercourse ?

That should answer your question.

Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum.

Yahandme

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Senior Wellmaster

Posts: 574

(05/26/08 11:37:09)

After so many years in most states, a couple becomes legally married anyway. Yes, I believe the vow is between God and the couple thus making it legal according to Gods law. But ... I could be wrong here, so please ... just something to think about. We're are encouraged by God's word to obey the laws of the land. We have laws which protect us -- the majority of those laws do IF we choose to do accordingly. Marriage, by LAW is a way to protect the investment of two people entering into an agreement. I encourage lawful marriages. It doesn't have to be a fancy wedding, etc. It can be between two people in the living room of a friend. But, documents ARE needed because we are a nation which has a census, taxes, etc. etc. Plus, should something happen which breaks these marriges, there is a way to divide, organize and keep things legally correct. I just read Exodus again ... God was consistently teaching Moses to organize .... create ORDER so he wouldn't be working 24/7. Laws are good to some extent and this country has laws on marriage, yes? Just my thoughts on this ... I'm probably way OFF on much, but using common sense, laws were initially made for protection. In June, my husband and I will be married for 42 years ... we didn't have a fancy wedding, very simple wedding, with witnesses.

In His precious love,

DeDe

Send forth Your light and Your truth, let themguide me; let them bring me to Your holy mountain to the place where You dwell. Psa. 43:3

Last Edited By: Yahandme 05/26/08 11:43:48. Edited 1 times.

Yahandme

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Senior Wellmaster

Posts: 575

(05/26/08 19:58:18)

Maybe these verses will help ... I did a bit of checking things out.

Consensual sexual relations between an unmarried man and unmarried woman resulted in the man being fined and required marry the woman without the possibility of any future divorce. Essentially, there was no premarital sex, since once you were caught you were married.

If a man finds a girl who is a virgin, who is not engaged, and seizes her and lies with her and they are discovered, (Deuteronomy 22:28)
then the man who lay with her shall give to the girl's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall become his wife because he has violated her; he cannot divorce her all his days. (Deuteronomy 22:29)

Essentially, there was no premarital sex, since once you were caught you were married.

But if this charge is true, that the girl was not found a virgin, then they shall bring out the girl to the doorway of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her to death because she has committed an act of folly in Israel by playing the harlot in her father's house; thus you shall purge the evil from among you. (Deuteronomy 22:20-21)

Deu 22:20 But if^{H518 thisH2088 thingH1697
beH1961 true,H571 and the tokens of virginityH1331
be notH3808 foundH4672 for the damsel:H5291}

^{Deu
22:21 Then they shall bring outH3318 (H853) the damselH5291 toH413 the doorH6607 of her father'sH1 house,H1004 and the menH376 of her cityH5892 shall
stoneH5619 her with stonesH68 that she die:H4191 becauseH3588 she hath wroughtH6213 follyH5039 in
Israel,H3478 to play the $!++$H2181 in her father'sH1 house:H1004 so shalt thou put evil awayH1197 H7451
from amongH4480 H7130 you.}

^{Deu
22:22 IfH3588 a manH376 be foundH4672
lyingH7901 withH5973 a womanH802 marriedH1166 to an
husband,H1167 then they shall bothH1571 H8147 of them die,H4191 both the manH376 that layH7901 withH5973 the
woman,H802 and the woman:H802 so shalt thou put awayH1197 evilH7451 from Israel.H4480 H3478}

^{Deu
22:28 IfH3588 a manH376 findH4672
a damselH5291 that is a virgin,H1330 whichH834 is notH3808 betrothed,H781 and lay holdH8610 on her, and lieH7901 withH5973 her, and they be found;H4672}

^{Deu
22:29 Then the manH376 that layH7901 withH5973 her shall giveH5414 unto the damsel'sH5291 fatherH1 fiftyH2572 shekels of silver,H3701 and she shall
beH1961 his wife;H802 becauseH8478 H834 he hath
humbledH6031 her, he mayH3201 notH3808 put her
awayH7971 allH3605 his days.H3117}

In His precious love,

DeDe

Send forth Your light and Your truth, let themguide me; let them bring me to Your holy mountain to the place where You dwell. Psa. 43:3

cando7

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Junior Fellowlaborer

Posts: 43

(05/26/08 20:27:51)

wow! thank you all for the scripture...i plan on rereading them and using my strong's to try to get an even deeper meaning of them. thank you all for sharing!

ysiy,

traci

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