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is he saying that the ethiopian(cushite) was his first wife that he met at the well when he was fleeing egypt? or is this kushite a different woman?

Exodus 2:16 - Now the priest of Midian had seven daughters: and they came and drew water, and filled the troughs to water their father's flock.

Exodus 2:19 - And they said, An Egyptian delivered us out of the hand of the shepherds, and also drew water enough for us, and watered the flock.

We know this "Egyptian" was Moses, and Moses was not an Egyptian by blood because earlier in this same chapter we were informed that Moses was of the tribe of Levi by birth. However he was an Egyptian because he was from the land of Egypt, aka a resident. This is common in the Bible, so remember it.

Exodus 3:1 - Now Moses kept the flock of Jethro his father in law, the priest of Midian: and he led the flock to the backside of the desert, and came to the mountain of God, even to Horeb.

In order to be a priest, you had to be of the same stock as Abraham. Also, Midian was a child of Abraham.

Genesis 25:1 - Then again Abraham took a wife, and her name was Keturah.

Genesis 25:2 - And she bare him Zimran, and Jokshan, and Medan, and Midian, and Ishbak, and Shuah.

So, these daughters of Jethro, the Midianite priest were of the seed of Abraham. They were not African/Ethiopian by blood.

also and more importantly, what did cush the son of ham son of noah do that would cause his name to be the hebrew word for black?

The Hebrew word "ham" is "Cham" in Hebrew, and it means "hot" or "heated". From this analogy we do get the word "burned", and some people take this to mean that the black race issued forth from Ham as the "sun burned" race. This is ignorance. The black race was one of the races created on the sixth day with the rest of mankind (Genesis 1:26-27).

Ham's sin was uncovering his father's nakedness:

Genesis 9:22 - And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without.

In order to find out what your father's nakedness is Biblically speaking, we need to Read Leviticus 18:8 and Leviticus 20:11.

Leviticus 18:8 - The nakedness of thy father's wife shalt thou not uncover: it is thy father's nakedness

Leviticus 20:11 - And the man that lieth with his father's wife hath uncovered his father's nakedness: both of them shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

In other words, to uncover your father's nakedness is to sleep with his wife. What happened between Ham and Noah's wife (Ham's mother) was a sexual affair. This is why Noah (not God) cursed Canaan, which can be seen in the following verse:

Genesis 9:26 - And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren.

Noah made the curse (not God). This has nothing to do with the black race becomming slaves either. Many people try to "twist" this into being some prophecy for slavery, but I can assure you it isn't. Canaan was the child of an incestual affair between Ham and his mother. This does NOT change one's race.